anxiety

Being an Introvert was My Excuse to Disengage

| Rachel Boulos

why being an introvert was my excuse to disengageIf snuggling with your computer or a good book sounds like your idea of a fun evening, chances are you may be an introvert.

But that doesn’t mean you are shy. Or a party hater. Or that you prefer to live in a closet.

Contrary to popular opinion, many introverts are actually outgoing, creative, and possess a high-functioning inner world. This inner world is an introvert’s best kept secret; a treasure trove just waiting to be discovered.

But seldom will it be shared.

Too many encounters with humiliation, failure, or rejection over time will cause introverts to shut down and close up shop. Out of insecurity, we will draw the shades and remain indoors.

Over time, we will become content to disengage with our world.

I know because I’ve been there. Continue reading →

Why You Must Uproot Your Weeds

| Rachel Boulos

why you must uproot your weeds for successful life changeI love gardening. Creating our own patio retreat has provided a personal oasis of beauty and sunshine while the birds gather above in magical chorus.

This week I sank into the cushions, iced coffee in hand. As I breathed in nature, my eye caught a glimpse of a disturbing sight.

Weeds.

My ultimate arch enemy.

The one thing I hate even more than dirty dishes.

Sticking out like a sore thumb, those gnarly little rascals were ruining my view. Gleefully basking in the sunlight, they made themselves right at home as if to spite me. I’m pretty sure they were smirking as they burrowed their roots even deeper. Continue reading →

What Uber (and Jesus) Taught Me About Life

| Rachel Boulos

what uber and Jesus taught me about lifeLast week we took a family trip to New York City. And since we had a rental car, we figured what the heck? Let’s drive in the city.

Never. Again.

Don’t get me wrong. We consider ourselves experienced city drivers. In fact, we’ve comfortably driven in the biggest cities of America; places like Los Angeles, Chicago, Houston, Atlanta, Boston, Miami, etc. But nothing compares to the stressful traffic of NYC. Continue reading →

67 Reminders When You Feel Like God Doesn’t Care

67 reminders when you feel like God doesn't care
| Rachel Boulos

I’ve been a Jesus-follower long enough to know that the Christian life ain’t all rainbows and sunshine. It’s a journey with mountain top experiences and their valleys below. And in those valleys, the struggle is real. Sometimes in long seasons of suffering, it can feel like God is silent and far away. And you find yourself wondering, Does He see? Does He even care?

I wrote this for a dear one of mine who has been suffering in the sea of adversity; drowning in wave upon insufferable wave. At times it seems unfair. Unjust. Undeserved. Left with a broken heart and a million unanswered questions.

In our darkest moments, it can feel like God has abandoned us. Or that He has turned a deaf ear to our prayers. Or that He isn’t moved by our tears. But just because we feel that way, does not mean it’s true.

Because He is there. He does see. And He deeply cares. Continue reading →

His & Hers Survival Kit: how to bug-out when you’re feeling stressed

| Rachel Boulos

His and Hers Stress Survival KitThe other day I was sitting at the table recounting all the current and upcoming events that were making me frazzled. Upon hearing my complaints, my husband grabbed a piece of paper and pen and began to write. After a minute of silence, my curiosity got the best of me.

“What are you doing?”

He slid the paper across the counter and grinned. I glanced down and laughed as my eyes caught hold of the first line: Eat a donut.

In a matter of seconds, my action-oriented husband had created a little go-to list for when I’m feeling blue.

Brilliant.

Wouldn’t it be grand if we had a bug-out-bag full of ideas on how to get out of dodge when our days go south?  Continue reading →

The Masquerade: why you must remove your mask

| Rachel Boulos

why you must remove your maskAs a homeowner, I look forward to trick-or-treating every year. My husband and I carve pumpkins, grab our favorite TV show, and wait with anticipation. While I’m not a fan of Halloween, I do look forward to the doorbell ringing and greeting a cast of characters with handfuls of sweets.

Rain or shine, today we will be the ones on the sidewalk going door to door with Iron Man and Superman leading the way! And while I feel like a kid again and have eagerly packed “goodie bags” for such an occasion, the activity conjures up another mask in question.

This mask is not for kids. And it is not reserved for special occasions. In fact, it seems to be worn throughout most of the year. This mask hides flaws. It misrepresents. It is the paraphernalia of an act, one that has been performed throughout the years. This mask is worn for others. This mask is mine.

Getting me to admit my masquerade has been a long time coming. I felt the effects long before I recognized the cause. Even as these words leave my fingertips, my heart flutters a little with insecurity. But I’m going to be honest with you. Because maybe you’re like me. It all started a couple months ago with Donald Miller’s book, Scary Close (awesome read, by the way). Within the first few pages I knew I had a problem. Like the author, I have been an actor on the stage of life. Performing for others in order to receive the applause of acceptance and affirmation. I rehearse my lines so I can deliver them with ease. I disguised myself and therefore deceived myself.

Maybe you do this too. Perhaps you’re an actor on your own stage, performing for the people in your life in order to get something in return: significance, love, acceptance, forgiveness, recognition, fame, fortune, the list goes on and on. Somewhere along the line we’ve all learned that we aren’t enough. That there is something wrong with us. So we overcompensate. We carefully craft a mask to wear that we know will be pleasing to others. As Miller says, we all have an ace card that, when all else fails, we know we can play with success.

It got me thinking. What is my ace card? And what’s yours? What mask have I worn over the years that has yielded positive results? That has given me the affirmation I always wanted? And then it came to me. While yours may be intelligence, humor, money, or service, mine is Continue reading →

Why you must lose your leaves this season

girl in woods falling leaves
| Rachel Boulos

 

It wasn’t until I moved north that Fall took on a whole new meaning. The charming season now warms a special place in my heart. The very word conjures up memories of apple picking, pumpkin carving, hot cider, and the delicious aroma of Grandma’s pie baking in the oven!

Every year I look forward to pulling out my weathered box from its nestled place in the basement, rediscovering the rustic decor that will soon adorn my home. This year, as I sat down to admire my handiwork, my eye caught a glimpse of the trees out back. Tall and proud, they line the yard with their fiery blaze of reds, oranges, and yellows announcing that summer is officially gone and winter is sure to come.

Soaking in the moment, I was suddenly struck by the irony of it all. The very leaves I admire are actually dying before my very eyes. The thought was slightly disturbing and fascinating all at the same time.

How could death be so beautiful?

I was compelled to rustle through my memory from the old school days when we learned about the abscission of deciduous trees (science words make my head hurt). If the trees were going to survive the season, they must toughen up and dispose of their leaves. Not only is the loss of the leaves important but the nutrients that are received from that loss, and the chance for regrowth, is what guarantees longevity and new life in the spring.

I’ll be honest. Science makes me yawn. But as I gazed at the foliage, God whispered in my heart. There was something I needed to learn from the leaves. Continue reading →

Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway: raising courageous boys

| Rachel Boulos

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Boys make me laugh. We’ve been blessed with a handful of little nephews to love and spoil. We thoroughly enjoy every moment, engaging in pirate battles, sword-fighting, ball games, and endless superhero adventures. They dress in costumes, turn sticks into weapons, and attempt many things that end in bruises and skinned knees. Donned in their mask and cape, they fearlessly save their Mama from “the bad guy” whomever he may be. Curious, wild, adventurous; daring to test the limits of their own boundaries. They desire to be brave, to win challenges, to be a hero. As John Eldredge put it, “deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.”

But somewhere along the way kids can lose their spirit of adventure. Risks are discouraged. Dangers, avoided. Their strong, willful spirit is subdued. Failures increase. Self-doubt ensues. And the boy starts to wonder if he has what it takes…to succeed, to be a hero, to be a man.

In these crucial moments, I’m concerned about Continue reading →