conflict

How you can prepare for emotional disasters

| Rachel

how to prepare for emotional disasterLast week my cousin spent the day chasing plywood and supplies all over town in preparation for Hurricane Matthew. Store shelves were sparse, gas stations drained, and Home Depot was like Black Friday with the amount of frantic pushing and shoving.

My cousin spent nearly 24 hours securing windows and battening down the hatches. He was just praying his home wouldn’t blow away.

When faced with a natural disaster like the one we saw last week, one thing is for sure. People spring into action. Survival mode kicks in. Some evacuate. Others brace for a fight. But one thing we all have in common? Continue reading →

When Father’s Day is not a Happy One

| Rachel

when Father's Day is not a happy oneI’m not gonna lie. If there’s one day I dread each year, it’s Father’s Day.

For many families, it’s a time of celebration; a day honoring the men they love and admire.

Every year, we go to church surrounded by families only to watch them all disperse to after-church lunch venues. In that moment, my husband and I look at each other with half-hearted smile and ask, “Well, what do you wanna do today?”

Because for some of us, Father’s Day isn’t always a happy one. Continue reading →

Don’t Let Technology Disconnect You: 5 ways to engage in relationships

| Rachel

5 ways to engage in relationshipsThanks to technology and social media, we are now more connected than ever before.

Yet we are more isolated and alone than ever before.

Today, the average person has 300+ facebook “friends” yet the average American reports having only 2 close friends. 25% of Americans report having no close friends (Dave Sumrall, The Struggle is Real: Relationships).

Social media has made it easy for us to feel connected to others without actually requiring us to be in relationship. Continue reading →

Forgiving Often: 6 things you need to know

| Rachel

6 things you need to know on how to forgive oftenForgiveness is that fuel that keeps your marriage (or any relationship) going. If you don’t forgive, your marriage will tank. It’s as simple as that.

But how do you do it? What does it look like? Why is it so important? If you missed the first half of this post, click here to find out what forgiveness is not.

Correcting our understanding of what forgiveness is not paves the way for what forgiveness is… Continue reading →

4 Things Forgiveness is Not

| Rachel

how to forgive often in your marriageLove requires risk. If you’re in a relationship, you will get hurt. And when you get hurt, you must learn to forgive. But how do you do it? What does it look like? Why is it so important?

Well, I’m glad you asked. I had way too much to say on this topic so I divided it into two posts for your reading sanity. There are a lot of wrong ideas floating around on what it means to forgive. My hope is to help you understand what it is and what it is not so that forgiveness will become a powerful discipline in your life. In fact, your health and the health of your relationships depend on it.

So first, let’s take a look at what forgiveness is not… Continue reading →

7 Ways to Correctly Apologize in Your Marriage

| Rachel

How to apologize correctlyMost of the apologies that come out of our mouth are bad ones. If you ever stop to listen, our go-to apologies sound something like this:

“I’m sorry, ok?” so get off my back.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were so sensitive” this is your issue.

“I’m sorry if you were offended” because I didn’t really do anything.

“I understand that mistakes were made” but they sure weren’t mine.

“I’m sorry but you…” my behavior is your fault. 

Guilty as charged. How about you? Making mistakes is just part of being human. But when you are confronted, what kind of message are you sending? Are you apologizing completely? Or is your sorry just a quick attempt to escape the conflict altogether?

A bad apology can create just as much conflict and hurt as the original offense. If you don’t do it effectively, your apology can lose its value over time. Don’t let your words become meaningless. Get good at the “I’m sorrys” and stay fit in your marriage! Continue reading →