10 things or less

3 Cures for the Blogging Blues (and comparison)

| Rachel Boulos

3 cures for the blogging and comparison bluesYesterday was a down in the dumps kind of day.

I was tired. We returned earlier in the week from our travels and hit the ground running.

I felt overwhelmed. My last few days have been engulfed by piles of laundry, chores, work, errands, packing lunches, and scraping together dinners.

I also personally committed to myself (and you) that I would post at least once a week on this blog. But a crazy road trip + daily responsibilities left me with a bad case of writer’s block. I stared at a blank screen more times this week than I want to admit.

So naturally, I did what any tired and overwhelmed writer would do. Continue reading →

Don’t Let Technology Disconnect You: 5 ways to engage in relationships

| Rachel Boulos

5 ways to engage in relationshipsThanks to technology and social media, we are now more connected than ever before.

Yet we are more isolated and alone than ever before.

Today, the average person has 300+ facebook “friends” yet the average American reports having only 2 close friends. 25% of Americans report having no close friends (Dave Sumrall, The Struggle is Real: Relationships).

Social media has made it easy for us to feel connected to others without actually requiring us to be in relationship. Continue reading →

3 Secrets to Finding Meaning in the Mundane

| Rachel Boulos

find meaning in the mundaneI’ve been a little frazzled these last 2 weeks. The culprit? Those perpetual little tasks I finally check off the to-do list only to find them on my list again…an hour later. You know the ones. Dishes. Laundry. Incessant cleaning. Why are there still clothes on the floor??

And what is that monstrosity of clutter doing on my counter again? For the love of all things organized, can the mailman please stop drowning me in a mountain of papers to sort?! Can things just stay frozen in time (preferably after I’ve deep cleaned) so a girl can get some peace around here?? The futility of the mundane is about to make me go crazy.

At times I wonder, Am I just wasting my life? Continue reading →

1 Unique Way to Uncover Your Purpose in Life

| Rachel Boulos

one unique way to discover your purpose in lifeYesterday I sat by my fireplace wrapped in three blankets. And a bathrobe. Drinking coffee. And it was 50 degrees outside. Yeah, I’m cool like that.

All snuggled and warm, my mind drifted to memories of last year. My first winter on autoimmune meds completely changed the way I functioned. The cold weather suddenly presented an entirely new problem for me: sick season. I was scared straight with the never ending list of risks and side effects, creating a bout of anxiety for my compromised immune system.

So every year when the weather begins to chill, I give a half-hearted wave to the world and tuck myself in for a long winter nap. I spent the majority of last winter in self-induced hibernation, away from the public, reluctantly canceling plans with friends who had a sniffle. I felt like I had to screen guests with a “symptom questionnaire” before they were even allowed to enter my home.

That first winter was a very lonely season. But it was also a surprising season of transformation. Continue reading →

Forgiving Often: 6 things you need to know

| Rachel Boulos

6 things you need to know on how to forgive oftenForgiveness is that fuel that keeps your marriage (or any relationship) going. If you don’t forgive, your marriage will tank. It’s as simple as that.

But how do you do it? What does it look like? Why is it so important? If you missed the first half of this post, click here to find out what forgiveness is not.

Correcting our understanding of what forgiveness is not paves the way for what forgiveness is… Continue reading →

4 Things Forgiveness is Not

| Rachel Boulos

how to forgive often in your marriageLove requires risk. If you’re in a relationship, you will get hurt. And when you get hurt, you must learn to forgive. But how do you do it? What does it look like? Why is it so important?

Well, I’m glad you asked. I had way too much to say on this topic so I divided it into two posts for your reading sanity. There are a lot of wrong ideas floating around on what it means to forgive. My hope is to help you understand what it is and what it is not so that forgiveness will become a powerful discipline in your life. In fact, your health and the health of your relationships depend on it.

So first, let’s take a look at what forgiveness is not… Continue reading →

7 Ways to Correctly Apologize in Your Marriage

| Rachel Boulos

How to apologize correctlyMost of the apologies that come out of our mouth are bad ones. If you ever stop to listen, our go-to apologies sound something like this:

“I’m sorry, ok?” so get off my back.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were so sensitive” this is your issue.

“I’m sorry if you were offended” because I didn’t really do anything.

“I understand that mistakes were made” but they sure weren’t mine.

“I’m sorry but you…” my behavior is your fault. 

Guilty as charged. How about you? Making mistakes is just part of being human. But when you are confronted, what kind of message are you sending? Are you apologizing completely? Or is your sorry just a quick attempt to escape the conflict altogether?

A bad apology can create just as much conflict and hurt as the original offense. If you don’t do it effectively, your apology can lose its value over time. Don’t let your words become meaningless. Get good at the “I’m sorrys” and stay fit in your marriage! Continue reading →

4 Successful Ways to Listen to Your Spouse

| Rachel Boulos

4 successful ways to listen to your spouseI thought I was a great listener. Then I got married.

Funny how marriage has a way of exposing your shortcomings and bad habits. What about you? Do you listen well?

Here are a few of the telltale signs you might be struggling:

  • You interrupt when your spouse is still speaking.
  • You finish your spouse’s sentences.
  • When confronted, you are quick to defend your position.
  • You explain yourself ad nauseam.
  • You give an answer before hearing the speaker out.
  • In a conflict, you focus more on how to fix your own hurt than that of your spouse.
  • You look for loopholes in your spouse’s argument so you can point out where he/she is wrong.
  • You get easily distracted by your own thoughts in a conversation.
  • You find yourself tuning out when the topic of conversation is boring.
  • You get “emotionally hooked” on certain words you find hurtful or offensive.

Truth be told, I do all of these. It’s embarrassing to admit but I commit at least one of these on a regular basis. Continue reading →