family life

12 Must-Reads that will Change Your Life

| Rachel Boulos

12 must reads that will change your lifeI’ve been told that if you’re a writer, you should write. And when you can’t write, read.

My four-year old nephew devours books. He asks us to read the same one countless times until he memorizes it and can “read” the book himself. A chip off the ol’ Aunt block. As a kid, I would press my nose into books. Wild with imagination, I traveled to other worlds from the comfort of my own home.

But somehow our love for reading dwindles in adulthood. Those well worn pages start collecting dust on the shelf. We go to college. We get a job. We start a family. We get busy. And tired. At the end of an exhausting day the last thing we want to do is read something. So we browse Facebook or flip on the TV. But honestly, when has TV (or Facebook) ever changed my life? Continue reading →

1 Unique Way to Uncover Your Purpose in Life

| Rachel Boulos

one unique way to discover your purpose in lifeYesterday I sat by my fireplace wrapped in three blankets. And a bathrobe. Drinking coffee. And it was 50 degrees outside. Yeah, I’m cool like that.

All snuggled and warm, my mind drifted to memories of last year. My first winter on autoimmune meds completely changed the way I functioned. The cold weather suddenly presented an entirely new problem for me: sick season. I was scared straight with the never ending list of risks and side effects, creating a bout of anxiety for my compromised immune system.

So every year when the weather begins to chill, I give a half-hearted wave to the world and tuck myself in for a long winter nap. I spent the majority of last winter in self-induced hibernation, away from the public, reluctantly canceling plans with friends who had a sniffle. I felt like I had to screen guests with a “symptom questionnaire” before they were even allowed to enter my home.

That first winter was a very lonely season. But it was also a surprising season of transformation. Continue reading →

Forgiving Often: 6 things you need to know

| Rachel Boulos

6 things you need to know on how to forgive oftenForgiveness is that fuel that keeps your marriage (or any relationship) going. If you don’t forgive, your marriage will tank. It’s as simple as that.

But how do you do it? What does it look like? Why is it so important? If you missed the first half of this post, click here to find out what forgiveness is not.

Correcting our understanding of what forgiveness is not paves the way for what forgiveness is… Continue reading →

4 Things Forgiveness is Not

| Rachel Boulos

how to forgive often in your marriageLove requires risk. If you’re in a relationship, you will get hurt. And when you get hurt, you must learn to forgive. But how do you do it? What does it look like? Why is it so important?

Well, I’m glad you asked. I had way too much to say on this topic so I divided it into two posts for your reading sanity. There are a lot of wrong ideas floating around on what it means to forgive. My hope is to help you understand what it is and what it is not so that forgiveness will become a powerful discipline in your life. In fact, your health and the health of your relationships depend on it.

So first, let’s take a look at what forgiveness is not… Continue reading →

7 Ways to Correctly Apologize in Your Marriage

| Rachel Boulos

How to apologize correctlyMost of the apologies that come out of our mouth are bad ones. If you ever stop to listen, our go-to apologies sound something like this:

“I’m sorry, ok?” so get off my back.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were so sensitive” this is your issue.

“I’m sorry if you were offended” because I didn’t really do anything.

“I understand that mistakes were made” but they sure weren’t mine.

“I’m sorry but you…” my behavior is your fault. 

Guilty as charged. How about you? Making mistakes is just part of being human. But when you are confronted, what kind of message are you sending? Are you apologizing completely? Or is your sorry just a quick attempt to escape the conflict altogether?

A bad apology can create just as much conflict and hurt as the original offense. If you don’t do it effectively, your apology can lose its value over time. Don’t let your words become meaningless. Get good at the “I’m sorrys” and stay fit in your marriage! Continue reading →

4 Successful Ways to Listen to Your Spouse

| Rachel Boulos

4 successful ways to listen to your spouseI thought I was a great listener. Then I got married.

Funny how marriage has a way of exposing your shortcomings and bad habits. What about you? Do you listen well?

Here are a few of the telltale signs you might be struggling:

  • You interrupt when your spouse is still speaking.
  • You finish your spouse’s sentences.
  • When confronted, you are quick to defend your position.
  • You explain yourself ad nauseam.
  • You give an answer before hearing the speaker out.
  • In a conflict, you focus more on how to fix your own hurt than that of your spouse.
  • You look for loopholes in your spouse’s argument so you can point out where he/she is wrong.
  • You get easily distracted by your own thoughts in a conversation.
  • You find yourself tuning out when the topic of conversation is boring.
  • You get “emotionally hooked” on certain words you find hurtful or offensive.

Truth be told, I do all of these. It’s embarrassing to admit but I commit at least one of these on a regular basis. Continue reading →

52 Acts of Love for Your Valentine

| Rachel Boulos

52 acts of love for your valentineI find Valentine’s Day a little heavy on the feminine side. The options are plentiful when it comes to gifts: cards, flowers, chocolate, dinner, jewelry, a massage, a night out…the romantic list is endless. All a guy has to do is pick one. But what about the men? Where is the masculine side of Hallmark when you need it most?

My husband is an amazing gift giver. He can pick up on the smallest cues throughout the year and actually remember them. Then surprise me year after year with his thoughtfulness. Me on the other hand? Horribly uncreative. The week before V-day I’m googling the web for “awesome gift ideas for my husband on valentine’s day”. Lame, I know. Gifts are just not my forte. Neither is acts of service. Go figure I’m married to a man who excels at both.

Can a girl get a witness?? Continue reading →