When it comes to hobbies, my husband and I are as opposite as they come.
At the beginning of our relationship, he would often ask if I wanted to do physical activities together: tennis, hiking, kayaking, swimming, jogging, biking, camping, soccer, etc. But in my ignorance, I shot them all down. Continue reading
What is one thing you can do to make your marriage better? How can you ensure success?
Stop using the word “try”.
If you find yourself saying “let’s try to make this work”, chances are it won’t.
Why? Because lurking behind the word try is a mindset and attitude that failure is acceptable. Whether you want to change your marriage or yourself, saying you’ll try is like giving yourself a pass if things go south. Continue reading
What is this thing called love and where can I get me some?
Is it an idea? A feeling? A state of being? And if you can fall in it, can you fall out of it?
Most of what we believe or know about love is a paper maché we’ve pieced together from past experiences, movies, the media and social circles. And let’s not forget Disney, with its magic and princess happily-ever-afters.
But if we take a closer look at love, we may find our perspective has been skewed with a few lies along the way.
Thanks to technology and social media, we are now more connected than ever before.
Yet we are more isolated and alone than ever before.
Today, the average person has 300+ facebook “friends” yet the average American reports having only 2 close friends. 25% of Americans report having no close friends (Dave Sumrall, The Struggle is Real: Relationships).
Social media has made it easy for us to feel connected to others without actually requiring us to be in relationship. Continue reading
The other day I was sitting at the table recounting all the current and upcoming events that were making me frazzled. Upon hearing my complaints, my husband grabbed a piece of paper and pen and began to write. After a minute of silence, my curiosity got the best of me.
“What are you doing?”
He slid the paper across the counter and grinned. I glanced down and laughed as my eyes caught hold of the first line: Eat a donut.
In a matter of seconds, my action-oriented husband had created a little go-to list for when I’m feeling blue.
Wouldn’t it be grand if we had a bug-out-bag full of ideas on how to get out of dodge when our days go south? Continue reading
Forgiveness is that fuel that keeps your marriage (or any relationship) going. If you don’t forgive, your marriage will tank. It’s as simple as that.
But how do you do it? What does it look like? Why is it so important? If you missed the first half of this post, click here to find out what forgiveness is not.
Correcting our understanding of what forgiveness is not paves the way for what forgiveness is… Continue reading
Love requires risk. If you’re in a relationship, you will get hurt. And when you get hurt, you must learn to forgive. But how do you do it? What does it look like? Why is it so important?
Well, I’m glad you asked. I had way too much to say on this topic so I divided it into two posts for your reading sanity. There are a lot of wrong ideas floating around on what it means to forgive. My hope is to help you understand what it is and what it is not so that forgiveness will become a powerful discipline in your life. In fact, your health and the health of your relationships depend on it.
So first, let’s take a look at what forgiveness is not… Continue reading
Most of the apologies that come out of our mouth are bad ones. If you ever stop to listen, our go-to apologies sound something like this:
“I’m sorry, ok?” so get off my back.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were so sensitive” this is your issue.
“I’m sorry if you were offended” because I didn’t really do anything.
“I understand that mistakes were made” but they sure weren’t mine.
“I’m sorry but you…” my behavior is your fault.
Guilty as charged. How about you? Making mistakes is just part of being human. But when you are confronted, what kind of message are you sending? Are you apologizing completely? Or is your sorry just a quick attempt to escape the conflict altogether?
A bad apology can create just as much conflict and hurt as the original offense. If you don’t do it effectively, your apology can lose its value over time. Don’t let your words become meaningless. Get good at the “I’m sorrys” and stay fit in your marriage! Continue reading
The word confess sounds intimidating, but it’s really not. In fact, all my relationships – including my marriage – depend on it. And so do yours.
Too often the idea of sharing our dirty laundry with others makes us feel nervous, unsafe, and too vulnerable. So we put on a good face and keep the bad stuff hidden from sight. Continue reading