His & Hers Survival Kit: how to bug-out when you’re feeling stressed

His and Hers Stress Survival KitThe other day I was sitting at the table recounting all the current and upcoming events that were making me frazzled. Upon hearing my complaints, my husband grabbed a piece of paper and pen and began to write. After a minute of silence, my curiosity got the best of me.

“What are you doing?”

He slid the paper across the counter and grinned. I glanced down and laughed as my eyes caught hold of the first line: Eat a donut.

In a matter of seconds, my action-oriented husband had created a little go-to list for when I’m feeling blue.

Brilliant.

Wouldn’t it be grand if we had a bug-out-bag full of ideas on how to get out of dodge when our days go south?  Continue reading

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Forgiving Often: 6 things you need to know

6 things you need to know on how to forgive oftenForgiveness is that fuel that keeps your marriage (or any relationship) going. If you don’t forgive, your marriage will tank. It’s as simple as that.

But how do you do it? What does it look like? Why is it so important? If you missed the first half of this post, click here to find out what forgiveness is not.

Correcting our understanding of what forgiveness is not paves the way for what forgiveness isContinue reading

4 Things Forgiveness is Not

how to forgive often in your marriageLove requires risk. If you’re in a relationship, you will get hurt. And when you get hurt, you must learn to forgive. But how do you do it? What does it look like? Why is it so important?

Well, I’m glad you asked. I had way too much to say on this topic so I divided it into two posts for your reading sanity. There are a lot of wrong ideas floating around on what it means to forgive. My hope is to help you understand what it is and what it is not so that forgiveness will become a powerful discipline in your life. In fact, your health and the health of your relationships depend on it.

So first, let’s take a look at what forgiveness is notContinue reading

7 Ways to Correctly Apologize in Your Marriage

How to apologize correctlyMost of the apologies that come out of our mouth are bad ones. If you ever stop to listen, our go-to apologies sound something like this:

“I’m sorry, ok?” so get off my back.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were so sensitive” this is your issue.

“I’m sorry if you were offended” because I didn’t really do anything.

“I understand that mistakes were made” but they sure weren’t mine.

“I’m sorry but you…” my behavior is your fault. 

Guilty as charged. How about you? Making mistakes is just part of being human. But when you are confronted, what kind of message are you sending? Are you apologizing completely? Or is your sorry just a quick attempt to escape the conflict altogether?

A bad apology can create just as much conflict and hurt as the original offense. If you don’t do it effectively, your apology can lose its value over time. Don’t let your words become meaningless. Get good at the “I’m sorrys” and stay fit in your marriage! Continue reading